Photo: "Paintman" by j lee, member of the theGentries Flickr pool.

What's happening in the GTA (and sometimes beyond):

A study by a handful of people that are a few years behind the times shows that 87% of hipsters and douchebags use the terms "hipster" and "douchebag" in comments on blogs. From now forth, when these words appear within theGentries comments, they will either be disemvoweled OR automatically changed to read "hula hoop" and "donkeyface" respectively. In other words: enough already, trolls. Just because someone is younger than you or has more fun than you or is open to ideas you're not into doesn't mean they're a hula hoop or donkeyface. And besides, this shit is so 2004.

Every road in the city of Toronto is being resurfaced this weekend. Everyone who planned on leisure driving is asked to stay at home and beat the recession instead. As of today, it's cheaper to drive to work than it is to be a red rocket commuter, right?

Public sector workers making more than $100,000 in 2008 were unveiled in the annual why-the-heck-am-I-in-the-line-of-work-I'm-in list. One city employee made $692,093.83 last year but apparently working overtime actually saves taxpayers' money.

If you're reading this, Conficker didn't spell the end of the internet or your computer (yet).

Elsewhere in tech news Toronto Bloggers voted to move into a strike position unless they get more comments on their entries than bloggers in Woodbridge, Oakville, and Ajax. While we were all distracted, net neutrality ended up nowhere near neutral and will have a pH of 1.

Happy April Fool's Day, Toronto! Feel free to find real news here and share any cool Toronto April Fool's finds in the comments below! :P

Note: I wouldn't normally link to images, and accept no responsibility if any of the images are changed at the source.

See also: last year's April 1st Morning Brew post.